Luck is just not my Thing
by FailingErin
Summary: I have never been lucky. Never have, until i drop my mom s ring in the toilet, and i go to get it out. Next thing i know, i landed on a Akatsuki member. Oh god... Why did this happen to me? Rated for Swearing, and if my mind wanders. AkaOC ItaOC
1. Pulled Through the Crap Hole

**HEY EVERYONE! Like I said, I AM rewriting My Life With the Akatsuki, but that is going to be a whole new story from my past ones. This story I had made a while back, but I laughed at how good it was and I rewrote the entire first chapter.**

**Please dun mind the spelling mistakes, and I will try HARD not to make Erin a Mary-Sue... also, I added my whole family... and yes...**

**This is how we really act from day to day.**

**-TEHEHE-**

Have you ever had a feeling that you were chosen for something that you felt could never happen? Something that could change your very life almost instantly? Well, I never expected to be one of those people. Then again, I'm never lucky.

Luck...is something I have little of. It always leaves me at the best of times, even if I beg it to stay.

But the thing that will unfold with this story, you will just have to find out yourself. I will now explain to you how my life changed forever with just one encounter with animated villians of a show called Naruto.

For some reason, my kitchen really seems to hate me the more i use it. The oven has officially died, I can't use my microwave, and my dog keeps humping my leg. It always seems to down hill from here.

My name is Erianna Lynn McCartan. I am a 13, almost 14, year old student who lives proudly in the great white north known as Canada.

I am about 5'9 in hight, towering over many students in my grade level. I have short, dyed redish-brown hair, it's origonal colour being a dark brown. My eyes...well, they are very similar to grey, yet they look green or blue sometimes, so my eyes vary.

As for me and my family, I live with my two sisters, my mom, and my dad. I get my height from my dad's side because with my mom being adopted and not knowing anything about her birth parents, and for her being the short 5'4 she is, there was no way in hell I got her genes.

I still go to an elementary school because in Canada, we seem to like making teenagers suffer with young children, running around at recess time screaming, "RED ROVER" or whatever that game is. Ah yes, good times.

And there is one last thing you should know about me...I have a high love for a show called Naruto. But for me, I don't think about that blonde haired knucklehead, or the duck-ass haired Uchiha Sasuke. No, I have a love for the Akatsuki, especially Itachi Uchiha, brother of the emo prick princess.

For me, I have a thing for long haired boys. Especially long haired boys who are criminals and care for the emo's family, even though it could, would, and probably has killed them. Ahh...I had fun the night I saw the episode with his death...

But I know I will never meet these characters, for they are animated and the fact that they were created only to die later. For that reason as well, I have never had moments where I would cry when my wish didn't come true. That which a high percentange of them are towards meeting the Akatsuki, killing sasuke with an arrow, and helping Tobi–NOT Madara–take over the world.

Though, I never knew if I would get the chance to meet these guys I have always told myself, "If I ever do meet them I will keep my calm" for that i will try and keep the situation under control.

But as people know me, luck isn't on my side a lot. It is usually off with someone else, helping them achieve their goals, like getting a new car or buying a house they really wanted. And for a child, maybe a new puppy. But all I know is luck avoided me as much as it could.

Thus, all these things lead me to, at the moment, sitting in front of a big television, some Jiffy Pop on my large chest, for it is large for teens my age, and Ginger ale on my right side.

"MOM!" I called upstairs, as I started flipping through television channels, seeing what was on to watch today. "Do you know what channel Family Guy is on?"

"I don't know...but I _do_ know that they're having a Naruto marathon right now, on channel 25," my mother shouted back down to me. I could hear her in the laundry room, folding laundry. I grinned brightly, as I turned back to the television, but I sulked as I saw it was a rerun of the original first episodes. I'm sorry, but I only seem to like Shippuden.

I started eating my popcorn, but soon a hand was placed one my head. "Hey Erin, wanna help me with cleaning the car?" I could tell by the voice, it was my father trying to escape his work.

"Daddy, do your own work. Mom gave you that work so we wouldn't die from trash slowly piling up in YOUR car. And can you also pass me some salt?" I could see my father stare at me before he smirked and patted my head.

"You may have gotten my physical genes, but you still have your mothers personality." With that, he walked to the kitchen and threw an oily rag, that used to be white, over his shoulder. Hmm...must have been cleaning the car.

I looked back at the TV and just as i was getting to a good part, I got a sudden pain in my stomach. I slowly looked down before I got up, spilling my popcorn all over me.

"I NEED TO POOP...IN THE TOILET!"

My mom peered her head around the corner of the laundry room, and shook her head as she felt my dads arms snake around her waist.

"We have the weirdest bunch of children," my father said, resting his head on her shoulder.

"That's why I paid to get your balls cut off next week."

"WHAT?"

-Meow :3-

I banged on the washroom door, hoping nobody was in there.

"I NEEDS TO GO!" Sadly, my sister Emma answered my cries...inside the washroom.

"Occupied!" she said in a sing-song voice. I could hear her flipping through what sounded like a magezine. I could also hear music, so that meant she has also brought her laptop in there.

"Use the upstairs one."

"But I really really really REALLY have to go!" I said very fast. I started doing the potty dance, and started the song.

"IF YOU DON'T GET OUT, I WILL START SINGING BARNEY~!"

Instantly she was out of the room carrying her laptop, a small table, and four pokemon magazines.

"Never...threaten that again."

I ran into the washroom and instantly locked the door, sitting my ass on the toilet. I sighed in relief as the feeling left me. And then I did what my mommy taught me: I wiped, flushed the toilet, and washed my hands.

I looked in the mirror, and just as I looked away, I noticed I dropped my moms ring inside the toilet. I sighed as I rolled up my sleeve and went to reach inside the toilet to get it. But to my surprise, instead of me feeling water touch my arm, my arm felt cold, and like it was...

Before I knew what the feeling was, I was pulled inside the toilet. And yes, I do mean...I was PULLED through the toilet...the most gross creation to CLEAN and USE...made by mankind.

But before I knew it, I had fallen on top of someone. And the person I fell on made me scream at who it was. And that very person looked at me with anger in his violet eyes.

"Who the fuck are you!"

**CLIFF HANGER! How did you like it? All I know is I liked it very much! I MAY add Avery in it later, but this time, I will just have LALA in it for now. Only because I want my short person to be loved by the character I fell on XD**

**So, please review! And the next chapter will be posted sometime this week ^^**

**BAI BAI :D**


	2. The Magical Money Fairy, Alien & Monster

**I have come to the conclusion that I love my fans TOO much.**

**Why would I say this? Well, try staying up 'til 1:21AM in Canada, where I live, deciding I might as well write you guys another chapter. And also the fact that I really like how I started this story and how it will possibly turn out to be better, or more popular, than my first story, _My Life With the Akatsuki_.**

**But I shall stop my ranting now about how much I love you guys. I think Lala will be in the next Chapter, all depends on how I feel. XD**

**So here is another chapter my pretties. And yesh I know...**

***Tears up* I have improved...**

"Who the Fuck are you!"

Those words hit me like a hard dictonary in the face, as I stared into a violet eyed man. Almost instantly, I knew who it was, but I was too in shock to say anything in return. Instead, I stared in fear at the immortal man, cursing in front of me.

I could feel his hands grab onto the collar of my shirt, and lift me off of the thing we called ground. I kicked my legs, and grabbed his arms and tried to lift them off...

...I failed epically.

"Answer the fucking question, bitch. Who. The. Fuck. Are. You." His words held hatred, even though we had just met. I looked at him, with the slight look of amusment at how serious he was. And then I did something I knew I should NOT have. I stuck out my tounge, punched him in the face as hard as I could, and with what was left of my will power, dashed for the nearest exit.

It only took 10 seconds before I felt something wrap around my ankle, that 1. I realised, I wasn't wearing any shoes, 2. Why do i get the feeling, tentacle rape?, and 3. Oh gosh, I should have left my wallet at home.

I was soon pulled into the air, but just so much, I fell face first into something I hoped was mud. I groaned, but before I had the chance to wipe anything off my face, someone started dragging me back to the place I had tried to fled. "Fugical sticks."

"That stupid bitch...how DARE she punch someone as good looking as I?" I could hear the silver hair man complain. And with all the will power I had, I keeped myself from saying something, that would, could, and positively get myself killed.

"Who are you, girl?" I shifted my eyes to a masked man, only to realised, my ankle was getting tentacle raped by Kakuzu. Not a great feeling. Not at all.

"Me? Oh! Umm...well...I AM THE MAGICAL FAIRY OF...umm...MONEY! Yes! And, umm... if you let me go, I will give you my wallet..." This is the moment when I realised that I had just offered my wallet to a cold-hearted murder, who was supicious of who I was.

I felt the tentacles around my ankle grow tighter, as I let a 'MEEP' pass my lips. Okay, now I know he is serious. I sighed as I actually managed to keep a straight face. I am officially proud of myself. "Fine, fine sheesh. In my area, people like you would get charged with touching an innocent girl like me! But, other than that...my name is Erianna. Call me Erin, if you want me to speak to you at all. Okay, okay...and umm...I am from...a place called...CANADA!"

"Where the fuck is Canada?" Hidan sneered at me, still pissed off at me about the fact that the side of his face was swollen to the size of a baseball. I grinned at him, only to then turn serious a second later. I must be bipolar...

"Thank you for the language, buddy. And, Canada is from another world!" I said, waving my arms around like a fool. I then stopped and crossed my arms, hoping he would take me seriously. Sadly, I knew he wouldn't as he started laughing, almost falling onto the ground.

"A-another world! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The is the most fucking hilarious thing I have EVER heard! BWAHAHAHAHA!" I glared at him, and muttered a few very, very, _very_...dark things. Though, I think he heard some of them and shut up.

"Yes. From another world, as crazy as you know it. Basically, I am a monster, creator and/or alien! So you don't know if I am smarter than you." Lie.

"Faster than you." Lie again.

"Or more powerful then you." And again, lie.

"But what I do know, is we will keep our traps shut in a situation like this..."

...and then I saw we were close to a VERY large village. "...until we know out suroundings." I took one deep breath in, and then I let everything out. "OOOHHHH GOOOOODDD HHHEELLLLLPPPP MMMEEEHHHH! I AM BEING RAPED! ASSULTED! AND OH GOD, THEIR HURTING ME! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME! I CAN'T FEEL MY ANKLE! AHHHHHHHH!"

"Look what you've done, girl!" Kakuzu sneered at me. I grinned for a second towards him, befor I returned to screaming. "You are nothing to the Akatsuki." And then he threw me to the ground, tearing my favorite shirt, and cutting my arm. And with that, he and his partner left slowly. But too slowly, because the villagers saw who they were.

"Owwie..." I said, rubbing my cut and, I believe, bruised arm. I sighed as I watched the two men walk away. As some of the villagers reached me, an older woman checked my ankle to find out it had whiplash, it was sprained, and that that it was turning purple.

I glanced back at the direction of where they left, though before I knew it, I was taken to the village. People stared at me and my weird clothing, probably fucked-up hairdo, hair full of still what I hoped was mud, my brightly coloured nail polish, and the fact that I looked like I got into a fist fight with Michael Jackson...and failed epicly.

Man, I don't know about you guys, but I believe I'm gonna screw myself over while I am here. Might as well make it worth while.

"Believe it!" And I fist-pumped the air. Man, I REALLY must look crazy.

**GOD I LOVE THIS STORY! I know how to make my character/Me/Alien from earth, MORE ENTERTAINING THEN EVER!**

**And thank you for all the lovely comment/reviews! They really made my day/days. I really like the slash thing lately :3 Can't you tell? **

**I LEARNED IT FROM THE OLD SPICE GUY!**

**All I will say is that I would tap what he has :3**

**AND LALA WILL BE COMING IN NEXT CHAPTER!**

**And also also also! For all the people who requested to be in the story (I got a few via message), I will be holding a contest for that later~ So one of you guys will get to chill with Erin/Me/Alien from earth.**

**SO BYE BYES :D**


	3. The Village hidden in the Heavens!

**Hey guys :) It's been a while since I updated! Its only... 1:24 in the morning here in good old Canada, day after Canada day, but it's summer! And saturday. AND I AM BACK ON FULL TIME BABY!**

**It's been a while since i have been on full-time. Only with summer's and weekends, and hell- even vacation. Those are the only times i have for writting and drawing.**

**And i got the art award for my grade eight graduation! My friend/ ex boyfriend cameron got really upset, and then he was like "In my heart, i got it." And then i looked at him like "honey, my name is PRINTED on here." And we both laughed (This was on the computer LOL)**

**I had to re-read the story, what I had so far to continue writting, so I now give you- Chapter 3!**

_Third person POV_

"Who the hell did that bitch think she was!" yelled, or more rather, screamed Hidan, throwing his arms in the air in frustration.

"That girl was rather odd." Kakuzu said, rubbing his chin over his mask, in thought. "She obisoly wasn't from around here, and she fell from the sky. And she was talking this non-sense about another world. I don't even have any words for what she was wearing."

"All I know is I WILL kill that fucking bitch next ti-!" Hidan tried to yell out the rest of his sentance, but his partner's hand fell over top of it.

"Shut it. You give me the biggest head ache's sometimes..." Kauzu sighed, cracking his nuckles. "Now, we need to bring the earnings from this mission to Leader."

"Fuck leader!" Hidan growled, before he caught the glimps of a young couple walking down the path. "I want my turn for fun."

"Just clean up afterwards..." Was all Kakuzu said, before he plopped down infront of a tree, watching his partner charge towards the un-armed couple, who screamed in their defence. "I swear, I am his freaking parent... I may need to report to leader about this girl..."

"WOULD YOU QUIT TALKING TO YOURSELF, AND HELP ME MOVE THE BODIES!"

_Erin's POV_

"OOOOOOWWWWWWW!" I yelled, trying to hold my ankle, as a older woman wiped it with a soaked rag. "That hurts like a sun of a gun."

"Well young child, if you where more careful, and stayed away from those monsters, then you could have been fine." She said, in a quiet voice, soothing, yet ferm like a concerning grandmothers. "Now child, where are you from? I know I haven't seen you around these streets before."

I glanced at her, before crossing my arms. "Well, you are right with that grams. I am many many days, or well, years away. You could say... from another world." I laughed inwardly as I though how true this was in my situation.

The woman smirked, before she began bandaging my foot and ankle, lightly holding it, with a tender care. "You have a bright attitude young one. Reminds me of me in the younger years." She gave out a small chuckle, before continuing. "What brings you here to the Village hidden in the Heavens?"

"Village hidden in the Heavens?" I asked, tilting my head slightly at the name. "I have never heard of the place..."

"Not many people have." She said with a small smile. "Its a smaller village, with only a population of probebly a thousand. We live high above regular villages, more upwards then some moutains. We got the name, because in some parts, close to here, the go far up, almost touching the clouds in the sky."

"Like, the heavens?" I smiled softely, as the woman reached her arm to the sky, as if reaching for something that wasn't there.

"Exactally." She lowered her hand, before she stood in from where she was sitting, and streached her arms. "What is your name, child?"

"Erianna. But everyone calls me Erin." I said, smiling brightly, showing my teeth.

"What a strange, yet beautiful name Erin. My name is Akai Hando. You can call me Hando if you wish." She patted my head, before walking out, holding a tray with the now dirty cloth, and some cleaning ointments.

"Alright Hando!" I closed my eyes, as she shut the sliding door to the room I was in at the momment. I am guessing it was in Hando's home.

It was simple, yet it showed culture. The doors were made out of the paper and wood, like they used in Japan. The walls where a tanish color, alond with some traditional paintings of trees. There wasn't any furniture, except for a bed mat on the ground, and with me in it. Apparently I am now furniture. Haha, I suck...

I moved my eyes around from corner to corner, before I looked at my damaged ankle, trying to move it, but failing epically. I glared at it, before placing it down, and giving a sort of evil laugh, causing me to tilt my head back, and make me look crazy.

"You shall pay... you shall pay..." And before I knew it, I had suddenly fallen asleep.

_Emma's POV_

"Erin..." I said, holding my laptop close to me, as if it were a stuffed animal, or a pellow, or something along the line of something being stuffed or soft. "Erin, are you done in there?"

I recieved no answer, but I couldn't help but wonder why I wasn't hearing anything coming from in there.

Maybe she had left? Or maybe, she had just fallen asleep on the crapper. All I know, is that I wanted a quiet place to play my pokemon and be on my chatrooms.

"MOM! Do you know where Erin is?" I asked, tilting my head in the slightest. My mom's head popped around the corner, where she was now in the kitchen.

"Haven't seen her honey." She smiled when she saw me shrug. Slowly, I opened the door to the washroom, to see that it was empty, but my parents ring had fallen into the toilet.

"I should get tha-" Before I could even reach for the toilet bowl, I was tackled to the ground, by someone who was smaller than me, yet as hyper as Erin at times.

"EMMA-CHAN!" She yelled, as she rubbed her head under my chin, as if she was a small puppy. "I missed chu!"

"Cool Lala. Can you please get off me, I need to do something..." I looked away, as she sat up on my stomach, and slowly rised, as if she was rising from the dead.

"Get up here silly!" She laughed at me, as I rised beside her, scratching my head in annoyance.

"I can't believe I am younger, and taller than you..." I ignored the glare she gave me, but she smiled none the less, and looked at my chest.

"AWWWWWWWWWWW! EMMA IS GETTING BOOBIES! NANCY! MOM! EMMA IS GETTING BOOBS!" Lala yelled at my mother, calling her both as if she was her friend, and her mother. I couldn't help but hear my mom chuckle from the kitchen, as the sound of running water could be heard.

Lala, compaired to me, was rather short. She was older than both me and Erin, Erin by two years, and me, by 4 years. Though, she deffentailly made up for it with her hair length. It was black-dark dark brown, and it was past her shoulder blades.

Me one the other hand, was 5'5, shoulder length dirty blond hair, with average everything, from boobs to weight.

"You do know you have a very VERY shinny ring in your toilet." Lala said as she reached in to get it for me, but she tripped on the mat, infront of the bathtub, grabbing onto the sleave of my shirt, pulling me along as, she suddenly flew into the toilet.

I thought this girl was weird, but this is taking it to a whole new level.

We flew through the sky's, and then it hit me. We were in the sky. THE FREAKING SKY! Falling, forever alone through the sky to our death.

Slowly we came closer, and closer, as we both noticed we were heading towards two figures, and as we landed, all we could hear from below us was-

"FUCK. NOT AGAIN!"

**HAHAHA Oh Hidan, how your pain and suffering make me laugh so hard. Ha ha ha. *Fails at online laughing***

**How did you like this chapter? Not bad for finishing at 2:15 with breaks and everything NOT included. I say I did pretty well! Especially for making this up on the spot . **

**And for editing it 16 hours later, because i fell asleep on my computer, freezing it. Thank JASHIN i had it on here already. But too bad i lost my live chatroulette drawings TT_TT (For once, i went on there AND NO PENISES LOL)**

**Please review, and you will get to see what adventures Erin goes though, with her time in the Village hidden in the Heavens!**

**BTW who should Emma be paired up with? All i know, is Itachi and hidan are out of question.**

**Please leave your questions and feedback! Remember, i don't bite :p Well, i do, but only to some other people... . *Glares to girl who ruined my grad dance* Oh, how wonderful my life is :p (Sarcasm)**


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